A powerful 20/20 report this past weekend revealed the pain and fear that children with schizophrenia live with on a daily basis. Almost as heartbreaking as the children's plight is the pain of their overtaxed parents. These parents live not only in a very difficult present situation, but also with constant anxiety about their child's future (Will their child take their meds when they turn 18? Will they wind up homeless? Will they be taken advantage of or abused? Will they kill themselves?).
The show interviews several siblings of the mentally ill children. In one family, the youngest of three daughters is unnerved by her schizophrenic and unpredictable older sister. Another family rents two apartments -- one for each child -- to keep their sick and sometimes violent child away from the healthy sibling. In each family, the sick child clearly absorbs much of the parents' energy and attention.
I still feel guilty for the attention I took away from my younger sister during our adolescence. Did I scar her with my irritability or anger? Did I set a bad example as an older sister? Was her bellybutton ring a cry for attention that she never received from my parents because they were focused on me?
Years later I've realized that she goes through her own drama, her own struggles. And, because I've experienced some success with recovery, during those times my parents' attention can be on her, where it should be. But I feel for the families who never get there, for the healthy siblings who rarely get to be in the spotlight, and for the sick ones who are burdened with guilt.
Are there ways that growing up with a mentally ill sibling might be beneficial? I suppose it could lead to a better understanding of illness; more empathy; and more gratitude for one's own psychological good fortune. But siblings are undeniably victims of these illnesses too.
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